When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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