I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
