my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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