Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
