I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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