So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
