He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
