I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
