is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
there is glitter all over my balls
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