im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
