What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
