dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
