just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize