Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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