Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
