dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my poor anus
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
