Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
