Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
