i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize