I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
