i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize