Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
