Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
