Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
