Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
youre lurking in front of me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
