yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize