Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
