is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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