So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
