But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
