god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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