Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
