i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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