I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
