so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
