Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
