I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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