So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize