you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
