I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His hands were made for my vagina.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
