you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
True strength comes from lack of pants
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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