Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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