Kiss
Puke
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
