I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we're so committed to being not committed
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
