turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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