Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
