I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
