going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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