so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
