Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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