Soap is not a condiment
i came on her dog
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
