So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize