WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need to sanitize my soul.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
