She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
