so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
