I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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