and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize