eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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