Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
