i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
