i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
COCAINE IS GR8
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
